Everyday I build a house of cards. I find solace in my faith, distraction in my work, numbness in my routines. In conversations, I even find laughter sometimes. I can smile. I can plan for the summer. I can contemplate how I can let my tragedy transform me for the better, enrich my life somehow. I can fantasise about the good that can potentially come from all of this. I can recognise the faithfulness that God has demonstrated to me thus far and the peace He has given me. I can be thankful for all I still have and cherish my wife and the son that is still with me. And then it hits me: My boy is gone!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll build another one tomorrow.

Allan.